Woman, Empower Yourself

I used the three men model to empower myself and upgrade my love life. If you are a woman and your love life is in a mess, I urge you to try out the model and get the love life you dream of.

It’s important for me to stress that men gain by women having three men for a while since it leads to more women who know themselves and can send clear signals in terms of sex and love. And of course men are free to say yes or no to be part of it.

Our culture does not give women the tools, language or pride to find their own standpoints and hold on to them within the areas of sex and love. On the contrary our culture mainly fills us with romantic stories and ideals that only fit the fairly short period of being head over heels in love. We are not offered words, definitions and nuances to deal with love in mature terms. That is why I decided to spread the word about the 1W3M model. I had used it with success and wrote a novel based on my experiences.

What is it exactly with this model that can empower a woman and bring her a better love life? Let me start with

My Personal Story

Some years ago I got the idea of looking for three men instead of one in order to find out where things kept going wrong in my love life. I set up a profile on a dating site where I looked for three men: One to talk to, one to have sex with and one to help me with practical stuff. A lot of men responded and I started dating. It was a liberating experience and over the course of a year and a half I had three men in different constellations. Then I fell in love with the gardener and I broke off my relation to the other two men. When my relationship with the gardener ended after two years I went back to the 3 men model for almost a year. After that I took a break from love to clear my head. I looked at all my experiences and I found out what my “research” had taught me.

The model taught me what is important for me in love, and that I should not compromise in these couple of areas. Because if I compromised I would wither and after a certain time I would no longer be me in the relationship and then why be in it. I also found out that I was not greedy. There were three areas that had to function in my love life for me to be happy: I needed a partner whom I could talk and listen to and who would talk and listen to me; I needed a partner for whom sex is important and a cherished activity – contrary to ordinary belief not all men are interested in sex, and not all men give it enough attention to make it good sex; The third area that is important to me is to have a partner who feels responsible about practical tasks. I simply will not quarrel with a grown up person about the activities needed to keep a household running and I expect that if we agree to something being his responsibility he will do it without having me remind him of it like I’m his mom.

Other women may have other areas that are important for them in choosing a partner. I highly recommend to take time to define what are the three most important areas because you need to know what you want in order to get it. As long as you just have some unclear notions or sensations inside of you there is a high risk that you will be feeling a constant dissatisfaction without being able to identify why.

Upon the evaluation of my personal experiences with having three men, I felt that there was one more thing that I longed for and that was closeness and intimacy. I had interviewed a number of people who lived a polyamorous love life with more than one partner. One of the things I got out of those interviews was that closeness and intimacy was a real challenge when you have more than one partner. I longed for closeness and intimacy so I decided to look for just one partner.

It was really fun to start dating again. I was able to send clear signals of what I was looking for, I was able to hold on to myself and say clearly yes or no to the men I dated and the things they proposed, and I was able to propose things.  It was also much more fun because I didn’t feel to vulnerable and as if every date was my possible soul mate. On the contrary I felt that he had to prove to me that he had soul mate potential for me to go on a second date. All in all it was a great feeling.

Why Can the 1W3M Empower You?

There are three reasons:

  1. By deciding to try a model that is outside of the ordinary you dare to risk and risking is an integral part of fulfilling dreams.
  2. To define what three profiles you are looking for, you need to become aware of your own priorities and to take a stand on how willing you are to insist on having your three needs met.
  3. When deciding to have three men you change your position from striving to please one man and his needs to a position where three men are trying to meet your needs and demands.

I was especially surprised about the third one and how good it made me feel to be in control. The last one is maybe also the most provocative to people since it breaks with the passive, submissive, and receiving roles that our culture still expects women to fill.

But love cannot be defined in such concrete terms

In our culture we are told that love cannot be defined and you cannot go for it in a structured, consequent manner. I partly disagree. I think you can and should define your own attitudes and wishes and be clear about your dreams. With the many different lifestyles that are available to us today it is very important to get your priorities straight. We have freedom of choice in terms of types of relationship, partner profile, different ways to have and raise children, lifestyles, ample opportunities within sex, and many other areas. The 1W3M model is a tool to help you maneuver around freedom of many choices and not just let coincidences rule your love life. Once you have defined what is important in your love life, you can sail much better in the ocean of love possibilities and position yourself for the magic of love to touch you.

That happened to me on my tenth date. I dated a guy I had discussed gender issues with on Facebook. His name is Steen Larsen. We fell in love, married a year later and we have a wonderful relationship. It is a deep, caring, sexual and sensual relationship. I can be myself and he can be himself. We love to talk and listen, we are both curious and explorative. We can be stubborn, but we can also give in. Sometimes we argue, sometimes we quarrel, then we find a solution to our disagreement. I don’t make compromises within the compromise free zones of love. And practical matters are dealt with smoothly.

So woman, if you want to become the captain of your now shipwrecked love life, I suggest that you try the 1W3M model for a while. I guarantee you that you will never be quite the same again. You will not cry about the same things. You will not meet the same type of man that doesn’t fith you. And you will not again feel that unconcrete dissatisfaction about your life and love life.

Find more tips, tricks and tools to assist your empowerment on my youtube channel

1 Comment

  1. I can’t wait to read this thank you Janet Martin

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