I used a model with three men for a while to stand by myself, my needs and my desires. It has made me a better partner, a more fun lover and my partner and I have an honest, direct and present love life. We met after I had used the three men model for a while.
The reason I had to go by the model of three men is that culture did not offer me tools to stand by the whole me. I was mainly offered templates for being nice, amenable, service-minded and submissive on a number of levels in my life. What I needed was a model for me to be nice and strong, demanding and able to give in, service giving and service receiving, dominant and submissive.
I used the three men model to train the elements that were not offered to me be culture. You can do the same or choose a different model to train it. I can warmly recommend training these areas, since it feels good deep inside of me to able to be me in my love life and in the world. I know when to stand up and say stop, and I know when to go with the flow.
By standing by myself, my needs and my desires there are less small frustrations and depressive thoughts in my life and I deal with major frustrations in a direct manner, so we can both move on.
You can find more inspiration on how to stand by your own love life in my novel One Woman Three Men.